The Finals are Coming

Here it is.
The week all students dread:
FINALS WEEK.

It's that week in the semester when BOOM everyone shows up again and you're just sitting in class like "I thought everyone had dropped this class".
It's that time when everyone - students and professors alike - are just so tired that everything is funny. Not seems funny. Is funny.
For example, one of my classmates was tossing an object into the air and catching it during one of our classes. Wasn't bothering anyone. Suddenly our professor turns around and does a double take.
"Is that a hard boiled egg?"
My friend and I started laughing hysterically as our classmate just stared at him.
"No. . . "
"What is that?"
"It's lip balm. . ."
"Oh okay."
"Do you have something against hard hard boiled eggs?"
"I really do not like hard boiled eggs."
"Okay. . ."
Our class was not the same that day.

And here is a haiku about finals:
I can't remember
I learned this four months ago
No no no no no

This is not an overreaction.
Trust me, it is not.

Why Newbs Shouldn't Shop with Vets

(Just a note before we begin: I'm talking about newbs here as opposed to n00bs.)

You've just put away the turkey.
The kitchen's cleaned up.
You shuffle to your bedroom and pull your pj's out of the drawer and---
"LET'S GO!"
Someone in your living room is grabbing their purse and running out the door before coming back and getting a binder full of coupons.
You shrug.
Well, okay, you think. How bad can it be?

Oh my giddy aunt.

Let's just say that next year I'm going to sleep Thursday night and I'm not going to wake up until noon on Friday.

My sister is a veteran Black Friday shopper. She's crazy good at getting good deals on like, everything, and that's awesome.

The problem is that I am not. I hit a few stores and then I'm done.

Not so with the Vet.

She spent TWO FULL HOURS in a single store alone! Granted, most of that was probably the line, but still! I wouldn't know what to do with myself in a store for an hour!

I seriously don't know how she does that.

I think she's magic.

We left our house around 7:30 Thursday night and came back Friday morning at about 9.

Never. Again.

Next year, I am going to bed like a normal person on Thursday night and I'm not getting up till noon on Friday.

But, for those of you who do the whole Cyber Monday thing, Pikcal is having an awesome sale: you can get 20% off your order with the promo code "blogcard20". That's off greeting cards, calendars, photo books, you name it!

May your shopping be happier than mine was!

Getting on my soapbox. . .

I'll be honest: I generally try to stay away from politics on the internet, and here's why.
1) Things get easily misconstrued.
2) The internet is great for many things, but a political debate - where body language, tone, and physical gestures are very important - is not one of those things.
3) People don't forget, but even if they do, your name is there along with your thoughts forever. Facebook comments are never really deleted.
That being said, I'm going to stand up on my little soapbox and put my name next to my thoughts and opinions.
Okay, now that being said, I am not here to make anyone mad.
I am not here to make enemies.
I am not here to step on anyone's digital digits.
I am here to try to persuade you to come around to my way of thinking, which - to be fair - is what every one does.
That's how people respectfully agree to disagree.
Now.
I am going to give my opinion of what's going on in the government of the United States right now, which you and I have every right to do: we're paying for it.
To do this, I will be heavily referencing the Phantom of the Opera, so buckle up and grab your capes -- we're going for a ride.
This may read a bit like a literary interpretation essay, but I promise you it's not.
I'd never get a grade on this.

Now, let's start at the very beginning.

For those who may not be Phans, I shall give you the bare, bare bones of what's actually a somewhat convoluted plot.
The Phantom has long since seduced Christine Daae into thinking that he is heaven-sent. She performs for him, she adores him, and she'd do anything for him. The pinnacle of their success is when she's at the top of her game. He takes her to his home (not for the first time, curse you Webber -- mea culpa, but your score was fantastic, every pun intended) and she begins to see what he truly is: not the angel he claimed he was, for starters.
Her childhood love, Raoul, shows up as a foil (contrast) to the Phantom. He truly loves Christine, and is more than a little worried about her obsession with some 'angel', even though she swears he's really what he says he is.
The Phantom does not get his casting choices approved for the next opera. He decides to show his acute displeasure by dropping the giant, 7-ton chandelier on the audience, killing some random woman. A freak accident.
Christine begins to really see who he is, though part of her still loves him. Raoul takes steps against him, and plans a way to show everyone what he really is. Long story short, it works. He's exposed, and slinks away, and the opera house is freed of his terror.
There are stories he fled to New York, but that's another subject entirely.

Where am I going with this?
Here.
I'm gonna name names, so if this offends you, I'm sorry, but this is my honest, thought-through opinion.

Obama has ideologically seduced mainstream media to follow him blindly, just as the Phantom seduced Christine. The mainstream media - like Madame Giry - sheilds him, makes excuses for him, and gives out his instructions. The first chandelier crash? I'd say that was Benghazi, the first 'mistake' with consequences of lives lost. That's when people kinda started to wake up, but it wasn't enough. I think this whole healthcare thing is hitting close enough to home that people are beginning to really figure out what is really going on.
The make believe is at an end.

The real question is, though, what's next?

In Defense of Those Who Drive as a Madman

People will say that I am a scary person to ride with.

That is totally not true.

What people don't understand is that I drive with purpose.

I drive to get from Point A to Point B with minimal distance in between.

Even when I'm not in a hurry, I strive to drive with purpose, because I don't want to be that person I'd yell at if I were trying to get somewhere.

Not that I yell at people. . .

Because I totally don't. . .

But I kinda view going slow(er than the rest of the traffic -- you may well be doing the speed limit, but hey, you're still going slow) as rude and selfish behavior. It's one thing if you're in the right lane.

That's where slower traffic belongs.

But if you're in the left lane, and you're riding even with traffic in the right lane, you're trapping everyone behind you.

Think about it.

Somebody could be going to a job interview.

Somebody could be trying to catch a flight.

Somebody could be going to a doctor's appointment.

Somebody might have to pee.

And for crying out loud, if your cell phone distracts you,

GET OFF OF IT.

This has been a PSA.

On Medical Conditions. . .

No, I haven't changed my mind and become a nursing major.

I'm still an English major.

Yet this is a unique merging of the two realms.

I don't know if any nurses or doctors have actually seen this, but I have, and it's terrifying enough to me.

And yes, this is sort of a grammar rant.

Alzheimer's Disease

I cannot count how many times I've heard this butchered. I know I have very little to stand on, because I butcher words all the time, but I can say that I've never said this particular word this badly. 

Y'all, it is not "All-timers" Disease.

There is not a T in "Alzheimer's".

There just isn't.

Stop putting it there.

Please.

Diabetes

Okay, I saw this on Tumblr, so there's no telling whether the poster was serious or just being funny, but "diabetes" is one word.

Just one.

It's not "die of beaties".

I realize it kind of sounds like that, but it's all together.

Lactose Intolerance

This one really takes the cake.

I'm not even really sure where that phrase comes from, but it's true.

I have seen this on Google searches.

On Facebook.

On Tumblr.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Granted, on Tumblr they all flipped out, but still.

People, this particular disorder where your body does not properly manufacture lactase and milk makes you gassy and nauseous is not "lack toast and tolerant".

I kid you not.

A "lack toast and tolerant" disorder means that you lack charred bread slices and are a very understanding person and for some reason you are not happy about this state of affairs.

But yeah.

This has been a PSA.

High Five for Friday!

1 ~ Business Writing Class

Doesn't sound like it would be, but that class can be a blast.
We're supposed to be working on proposals for a program for our college, which actually is pretty interesting, but we talked about every type of project but that for about half the class Wednesday.
But classes like that are usually only fun because of the professor. . .

2 ~ Professors Who Cancel Class on Fridays

Yep, it's my Business Writing professor.
He's awesome.
And to his credit, he cancels class on Friday because we turn in a report on our work, so it's not like we're getting a totally free pass.
But still.

3 ~ I got the internship I really wanted!

I've been volunteering at a local non-profit organization for about two semesters, and the work I've been doing has become more and more computer based and complicated.
(One of them actually didn't realize I was a volunteer and was about to hire me as a consultant.)
But now, I can get college credit for working, and I'll get a ton of experience!

4 ~ Mushrooms

I just love mushrooms, but we don't often have them.
We did last night, and that made me very happy.
And while we're on the subject of food. . .

5 ~ Doggy Antics

. . . Our dog Bud has a bad habit of begging.
We don't cave.
"Never?"
"Never! -- Well, hardly ever. . ."
But last night, I heard the telltale sounds of happy licking.
I had dropped some food earlier and picked it up and threw it out, but I figured Bud was just savoring the vapors.
Um, no.
He climbed onto my chair and ate an entire bowl of fettuccine alfredo.
Doggone it.

Confessions: I have a terrible sense of fashion.

I know, I know.

A blogger with no fashion sense.

Sad, but true.

I mean, I can do makeup and stuff, but . . . well, no, because I can't really do hair . . .

I can do makeup.

But I'm more than a little lost when it comes to mixing and matching clothes.

Now my sister's really good at that.

And she has this beautiful, long hair that does whatever she wants it to.

Except that she tries to curl it and it's fine so it doesn't hold a curl, and I used to straighten mine, but it's thick, so it doesn't really hold a straight.

Basically, she's a brunette Rapunzel:

and I'm a blonde Merida.

Anhyoo, my sister's really good at clothes.

She looks cute in just about anything, and can pull off things I never could.

And she can pull off black eye liner.

That makes me just a wee bit jealous.

But I'll gladly admit that I've stolen more than a few ideas from my sister's outfits.

. . . Not at the same time she's wearing them, because that would be a little embarrassing for her, I think, but I have.

She brought the scarf fever to our house.

And the boot fever.

And a few other fevers that haven't quite caught on yet, but give it time.

They will.

But yeah, I'm just not very good at the whole fashion thing.

I could sell you on just about any cosmetic product ever made, but let's just say I'm sorta glad my sister's better at that than me.

Because it's better to get killer deals on cute clothes than mediocre deals on mine.

High Five for Friday!

I've decided to participate in this lovely link-up because 

1) it's pretty fun, and 

2) it's good to get in the habit of looking back and being grateful for things, no matter how small or inconsequential they may seem to be.

So, here we go!

1 ~ Fall Break

Oh come on, if you're telling me you are / were far too studious to be excited about a break, you're lying.

Really.

Of course, even if you aren't / weren't studious, you probably still have / had plenty of work to do, because not only do some professors seem to not understand the concept that you're enrolled in more classes than just theirs, they also seem to have a poor grasp on the term "break".

2 ~ I got my wisdom teeth out

I know, this sounds really sick and grisly, but when you've been in on-and-off pain for about 4 years which became far, far worse in the past 3 months, and way worse in the past 3 weeks . . . well, you'd be pretty excited to get that over with, too.

Plus, Fall Break (see above) allows me basically a whole work week to recuperate, and since I'm making sense typing all this, I'd say I'm coming along nicely.

Minus the chipmunk cheeks.

3 ~ Mashed potatoes, grits, applesauce, ice cream, and basically every mushy food there is

Yep, mushy foods have been my dear friend the past day and a half.

Good job I actually like all those foods, otherwise I think I'd be on a strict ice cream diet, and that doesn't bode well for the running I plan to be doing soon.
Oh, and also for me mum, who spoon fed her 21 year old daughter the applesauce, and for my dad, who makes awesome mashed potatoes.

4 ~ Yogurt + granola bites

I'll be honest, I'm feeling a little too lazy to get up and see what kind of granola it is I'm talking about (let's chalk that up to post-op dizziness), but I know the vanilla clusters I got are in a blue box, looked pretty healthy, and I got them from Target, so they're automatically awesome, right?

Also, I'd have lumped this in with #3, but I think granola's a no-no right now.

5 ~ Netflix

Need I really say more?

If you won't learn from your own mistakes. . .

. . . at least learn from someone else's.

Namely, MINE.

Okay, freshmen, listen up: no, you don't want to cram your first two years full of gen-ed classes because you don't want to be slammed with whatever classes are required for your major. 

You'll go crazy.

But don't slack on your gen-eds . . . Like I did.

Namely, I was really good in taking my foreign languages while they were still fresh from high school.

I waited about four years to take my math.

I waited about five years to take my sciences.

Ten out of ten would not recommend!

So if you're one of those stubborn people who doesn't learn from your own mistakes, at least learn from mine.

(Oh yes, and I also have to take speech; ironically after I've given the bulk of my class presentations.)

Exit, Pursued by a Bear

I don't know where the stereotype of non-physically active nerds came from, but I really don't think it's true.

For example, I am a nerd.

To an extent.

And I exercise(d).

I mean, I still do, I just haven't in a while for various reasons, among them being shin splints, a cough that won't go away and messes up my pace, and college.

But, as an English major, I don't see why this is.

I mean, one of the greatest physical chase scenes in history was written by Shakespeare:

"Exit, pursued by a bear."

Now, I will be the first to admit that we don't always approach exercise the right way.

Or at least, I don't.

Ever heard of that 10% rule? How you're not supposed to increase your mileage by more than 10% per week?

Well, I basically lived by the 100% rule for about 2 and a half hours once.

5 miles to about 10.5.

Not the brightest thing I've ever done.

But regarding the nerdiness. . .

So I was running down this road that was way longer than I expected it be, and then I realized that it was the longest side of right triangle. The Pythagorean Theorem popped into my mind and I started sorting it out.

As I was running.

As if the cars weren't enough to worry about. . .

Confessions: I pronounce everything wrong.

This is really embarrassing to admit as an English major and a bookish person in general, but I really do butcher the art of the spoken word.

It's the reason I took Spanish instead of French.

French people should thank me for that, because they would have murdered me.

But I seriously am horrendously bad at pronunciation. 

Point en case:

Friend of mine lost her school ID a few months ago, and our decals expire every year.

She got her ID, but then couldn't get a decal for a while, because they moved the office or whatnot.

Well.

She ended up getting a parking ticket - hey, there are only so many "visitor" spots - and mentioned it to me.

I mentioned to her that someone had said that if you didn't pay it, they wouldn't send you a bill or anything.

Then I said, "I guess it makes sense; I mean, they're not city or munsiple police".

She just stopped and stared at me.

"Alyse. Do you mean municipal?"

"Yeah. . . yeah, that's it."

She looked at me and laughed.

"You know what you are? You're one of those people that read a lot but never say the words out loud."

Yes.

Yes, that is exactly what I am.

That, and a dummkopf.

And actually, I can pronounce that right.