On Medical Conditions. . .

No, I haven't changed my mind and become a nursing major.

I'm still an English major.

Yet this is a unique merging of the two realms.

I don't know if any nurses or doctors have actually seen this, but I have, and it's terrifying enough to me.

And yes, this is sort of a grammar rant.

Alzheimer's Disease

I cannot count how many times I've heard this butchered. I know I have very little to stand on, because I butcher words all the time, but I can say that I've never said this particular word this badly. 

Y'all, it is not "All-timers" Disease.

There is not a T in "Alzheimer's".

There just isn't.

Stop putting it there.

Please.

Diabetes

Okay, I saw this on Tumblr, so there's no telling whether the poster was serious or just being funny, but "diabetes" is one word.

Just one.

It's not "die of beaties".

I realize it kind of sounds like that, but it's all together.

Lactose Intolerance

This one really takes the cake.

I'm not even really sure where that phrase comes from, but it's true.

I have seen this on Google searches.

On Facebook.

On Tumblr.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Granted, on Tumblr they all flipped out, but still.

People, this particular disorder where your body does not properly manufacture lactase and milk makes you gassy and nauseous is not "lack toast and tolerant".

I kid you not.

A "lack toast and tolerant" disorder means that you lack charred bread slices and are a very understanding person and for some reason you are not happy about this state of affairs.

But yeah.

This has been a PSA.

Why you shouldn't dye blonde hair blonde

I naturally have blonde hair.
It was nearly white when I was a toddler, and when I was about seven, I started getting these dark streaks underneath.
A lot of people complemented me on it, and I guess I sort of liked it. I really can't remember.
About three years ago, it started getting really dark.
I look like a brunette.
Nothing against brunettes: my mom's a brunette and my sister is a brunette.
I just like the excuse being blonde provides don't like it on me.
I got highlights two or three times, but they were really expensive.
After that, I figured dying my whole head for $7 is better than dying half of it for $100.
Nope.
The first time it turned out orangey and brassy.
Lasted for a while, then I asked my friend to help me dye my hair.
That one turned out less brassy, but still wasn't the blonde I was looking for.
Fast forward to now, about two months later.
I took a shower and thought the water looked funny. I thought it was just the water; we've been having storms lately, and sometimes that affects it.
Got out, and didn't think anything of it.
Come back a few hours later . . .
ORANGE. RESIDUE. EVERYWHERE.
I honestly cannot remember what brand or what it was, but I know it foamed.
I'm not saying this is a typical result either, because I wasn't using special shampoo or anything.
All I know is that I washed my hair and my white bathtub turned orange.
This is also why you ought not dye blonde hair blonde: it's nearly impossible to nail the color yourself, and unless you want to look like a pumpkin head for about two months, I'd just stay out of the hair color aisle all together.

For the record . . .

Just FYI, I've gotten a Tumblr account . . . So, unless I figure out a way to automatically send those posts here, you might as well just follow that.
:)