Confessions: I Could Have Been a Math Major

DISCLAIMER:

This is not a dig at people who enjoy math, who have degrees in math, or jobs related to math.

It's just me being snarky and slightly honest.

Sometimes people ask me why I'm an English major.

They're like "Oh, do you want to teach?"

I don't really, and I can't help but think that if I wanted to teach, I'd be an education major.

But English is just something I enjoy and that I'm good at, and I thought reading books and writing essays for four years would be alright.

Yep.

But I'm also good at math -- or at least I was about five years ago. 

Haven't taken it since then.

I'm taking it now.

And I love it.

But the thing is, I just couldn't do math for four years.

Well, maybe I could have, but I don't think I'd have liked it.

Mostly because of Geometry.

Just not my thing.

In high school, my math teacher begged me to be an engineer, but I hate Geometry, so that wasn't really something I wanted to do.

I finally got him to stop telling me that by saying that if I did become an engineer, all I'd make is roller coasters and he'd have to test ride all of them.

That worked.

But I used to be really good at it.

I could solve small-ish matrices in my head, I still can foil quite a bit mentally, and stuff like that.

I'm surprised my professor hasn't gotten on me yet for not showing a lot of my work.

I might take more math next year, just to fill up empty space in my schedule, but next year is pretty much anything I want to do, so maybe I'll take some math. . .

Maybe I won't.

Heck, maybe they'll offer an equestrian class.

That'd be fun.

But don't think I don't like math much because it's hard.

No, that's part of why I like math: you have to figure it out; it's not just memorization.

I mean, English is hard too.

You try remembering what the Great Vowel Shift was, or how Proto-Indo-European converts Greek and Latin to English and stuff.

I like a good challenge.

But I have to admit that math has a one-upper on English as far as I'm concerned.

In English, you can read things pretty much however you want, but in math, 2+2 always equals 4.

I like that.

Consistency and concreteness is cool.

(And that's ^ alliteration.)

There's just one thing I don't really understand about math.

I mean, English majors learn how to think critically, and that's a skill you can use anywhere.

Math majors learn how to think analytically, and that's a skill you can use anywhere.

But I just don't understand why we learn some of the stuff we do in math.

Isn't a lot of that more theoretical than applicational?

Theoretical's totally fine, really, but . . . isn't applicational more useful?

I mean, under what circumstances would somebody need to know this?

I'm not being snarky here, I swear.

This is an honest to God question.

Is this like a real thing?

I've got the concept down fine, I'm just curious.

Other than teaching my kids someday.

If I even remember it that long.

The Capitalization of I

A good friend of mine actually thought of this and vocalized it before I did, but it's a good point.

But really, why do we capitalize I?

It's just a pronoun.

We don't capitalize he.

Or she.

Or they.

So why I?

And it's just a letter.

We don't capitalize "a".

This has actually been bothering me for some time, so y'all have got any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Ramblings of a Fangirl: Opera Peeves

So, don't get me wrong, I am a huge Phan.

. . .

A fan of Phantom of the Opera.

A phan.

All of it. 

The book. The Broadway. The movies. The spin-off plays and musicals and books.

All of it.

NOT Love Never Dies. 

May the Hero Otto Webber rest in peace.

(Some of you understand what that means and I commend you.)

But there's something that really irks me about the play and the movie.

They used fake operas.

In a tale that takes place almost entirely in an opera house, there's not a single real opera in it.

There is in the book and in other versions: they perform Faust multiple times, which is actually far better suited to the Phantom than the fake ones, but that's a rabbit trail you don't want to see me go down.

But I checked on the operas, because Il Muto sounds hilarious. 

But alas, it does not exist.

The fact that they're all English should have tipped me off, but it didn't.
It irked me for a while, but then I forgot about it . . .
. . . till I saw the opera scene from Fifth Element.
Not sure I would suggest the movie, but for those of you who have missed this glorious scene, you can thank me later:

Yeah.
Is that not beautiful?
And here's where it gets even better - IT'S REAL.
It's from Lucia di Lammermoor, and this is the famous "mad scene".
You know, the "mad scene"?
Like THE "shower scene" . . . ?
No . . . ?
Oh.
Okay.
Anyway, this happens right after Lucy marries the guy she doesn't want, kinda snaps, and stabs him.
On their wedding night.
With all the guests downstairs.
Yeah . . .
Awkward.
But she's calling for her true love when she sings this.
Um . . . drenched in blood. . .
But here's what I don't get . . .
. . . a play about an opera ghost can't take the trouble to fit a real opera into the play somewhere, but a sci-fi movie that has nothing to do with operas does. . . ?

You Can't Fix Blonde

Sometimes we miss the obvious.

Like the pen right in front of us that we’ve been searching for for five whole minutes.

For me, it’s a case of being slightly blonde.

For others, it could be a case of being slightly blind.

Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world.

There are glasses, you know.

I know some people don’t want to buy glasses because they think they’ll look dorky or something, but – and I know this from experience – if you buy the right kind, they’ll suit your face really well. I even know some people who have two or three pairs of eyeglasses: one for every day, one for fancy occasions, and one for working or playing in (usually an old pair that they don’t mind if it gets chipped or completely broken).

Now, I could technically use them, but because my eyeglasses prescription is so small, it really doesn’t make too much sense to do that. It’s also changed in the opposite direction (one year positive and the next negative and so on), that it just wouldn’t be smart for me to get any, though I have thought about it because they have some brilliant coatings that block glare and everything. To me, it would almost be worth it just for that.

And speaking of brilliant. . .

MY problem can’t really be fixed with glasses – it’s a problem in the noggin.

But yours could, perhaps.

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All opinions are my own.

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A Realistic Self-Image

I'm sure a lot of us made New Year's Resolutions to lose some extra pounds.

I know I did.

But what do we really want?

To have a smaller number on the scale (which nobody knows but us), or to look slimmer?

If I were to be honest . . . it would have been the latter last year.

But not this year.

What changed?

My self-image.

How I see myself has changed, and for the better.

This is really hard to do, and took a while for me, but it's worth it.

And pretty simple. 

Skinny does not necessarily equal healthy.

For some, it might, but not for everyone.

For years, I thought I'd have to be skinny to be healthy, or pretty, or anything, but now I see that's not the case.

Now, I'm not one to get my advice from Hollywood, but I kinda like Jennifer Lawrence as a person (and no, I haven't seen the Hunger Games, nor do I plan to).

This quote is from Pinterest, so if it's not really her, sorry, but it sounds like something she'd say. 

In Hollywood, I’m obese. I’m considered a fat actress. I’m never going to starve myself for a part. I keep waiting for that one role to come along that scares me enough into dieting, and it just can’t happen. I’m invincible. I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner.’ That’s something that I was really conscious of during training. I was trying to get my body to look fit and strong, not thin and underfed.

Now that is a good mindset.

But think about it.

How many models, actresses, and normal girls look like they haven't eaten in days?

Too many, I think.

Seems like everyone thinks it's cooler to be thin.

Don't get me wrong; it's not bad to be thin - it's just . . . well, a bit overrated.

It would probably surprise you to learn that less than a hundred years ago, curvy girls were considered "more beautiful".

That's not entirely correct either, but do you know what makes everyone change their minds?

The media.

All of it.

Ever see some of those "plus size" models?

Ever notice how they look . . . well, normal?

Since when was that not attractive?

Since when was that weird?

Since when did preteen girls care about how many calories they had?

To say it's only the media's portrayal of weight and obesity would be a lie, but I'm only trying to make one point here, and you have to admit that that's certainly a large part of it.

Anyhow, what I'm trying to say is that even if you do lose all the weight you said you would, and even if you do fit into your high school jeans again . . . will you really, honestly be happy with yourself? Or will you never be slim enough or light enough?

God made you as you are for a reason.

Heck, maybe you're the way you are just to encourage someone like you who may struggle with the same thing. You never know.

And while you may not like it now, He does, and He doesn't make mistakes, nor is He ever mistaken.

I once heard someone (I think Chip Ingram, but I'm not sure) say that the trick is you have to think of yourself correctly: you shouldn't think of yourself too highly, but you shouldn't think of yourself too lowly, either.

Thinking of yourself too highly results in pride, arrogance, and a general sense of annoyance to everyone around you.

Thinking of yourself too lowly results in depression, bitterness, and a lack of joy, which will be felt by everyone you're around, believe me.

Thinking accurately about yourself allows you to 1) see what areas might need improvement and 2) see what's genuinely great about yourself.

So no, you may never fit into that size you wanted, or see the number you wanted when you step on the scale, or get picture perfect skin, or have hair that actually does what you want it to, but you're still made in the image of God, and as long as you're taking care of your temple, you're beautiful, even when you don't feel like you are.

Words We Should Spell Differently: English Place Names

As most of us here speak English, this could be a very long list, but it'll be short today.

And since I actually took a "Development of the English Language" course last year, I'm sort of an authority on this.

Sort of.

And it goes without saying that this is by no means scholarly.

So don't be citing this in your English papers at 3 AM, mmk?

English is really weird.

I'm an English major; I know this for a fact.

I'm not going to go into why things are spelled so strangely, but part of it has to do with the Great Vowel Shift.

Please. Don't. Ask.

Anyhoo, I got to thinking today about Worcester, Massachusetts  Sir Leicester Dedlock, and Richard of Gloucester.

Now you know how you pronounce those?

Wooster, Layster, and Gloster, respectively.

Ummm . . .

People (usually) hate it when others are redundant.

Isn't extra letters kind of redundant if they make the same sound?

Only you can stop redundancy.

Let the letters raise their voices, and speak for themselves.

BOSS STATUS: RE-ACHIEVED?

Last semester I signed up for six classes.

I dropped one at the last minute and only took five.

I lost "boss status".

However!

This semester I signed up for seven (only 19 hours, though).

I dropped one a few days ago - I didn't want half my course grade coming from volunteer hours at events. And it wasn't what I thought it was, anyway.

I added another, but it was only one credit - that put me at 17.

Then, last night, I checked over everything to make sure it was all set. And what do I see? One of my classes I had really wanted had been cancelled!

That put me down to 14, but it's okay.

But still . . . I really wanted that class! 

Anyhoo, I figure I'll just keep the "textbook" (it's more like a style book).

And, for those of you going into college or in college, you'd be robbing yourselves if you didn't join Amazon Student. 

Just sayin'.

The Day After the End of the World . . . and Walmart

So the world didn't explode, or melt, or swarm with Flood or zombies, or viruses, or have the animals go cray cray.

Hm. Fancy that.

Well, for those of us over the age of 13, we've survived the "End of the World" twice:

Y2K and 12/21/12

Yay us!

Our kids will never believe us . . .

On a similar note, what the heck is up with Walmart registers never being open when you need them?

I'm not dissing Wally World or anything, I'm just asking.

I mean, wouldn't that drive down your customer loyalty?

But come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen any retail store with all their registers open.

That should change.

I mean, really.

Who wants their customers to stand in line for 20 minutes holding a heavy box of firewood?

I wouldn't.

Let me drive this bus a while . . .

Fool me once . . .

Okay Beaufort girlies, listen up: I don't know where you do your shoe shopping, and on some level I don't really care, but I've got to tell you about this one store (which is kind of ironic, because I don't plan on actually naming this store). 

There's this store in Beaufort that has really cute shoes. And at good prices, too.

No, it's not Wal-Mart.

However, something weird happened the last two times I was there, probably within the same two weeks.

Allow me to start at the beginning: I wanted some brown flats, so when I saw a cute pair, I got the box that said 9 down because I (usually) wear a 9.

I tried both the shoes on, and they both fit.

That would be a given, except for one small factoid: one was a 9, the other was an 8 1/2. 

And my feet are normal, by the way. 

I put the bottoms together, and they looked exactly the same to me.

I figured the 8 1/2 was a misprint and took the box to the register to check out. 

They wouldn't sell it to me because (logically) if I had two sizes, somebody else had two sizes, and if they returned one, they'd need the other.

I ended up leaving with 8 1/2's (which fit perfectly fine), and thought it was a freak occurrence. 

Wrong. 

I went today for some black flats and wanted a 9. 

Once again, there was a 9 and an 8 1/2!

And once again, I ended up leaving with an 8 1/2!

So, for those of y'all in Beaufort . . . check your shoes before you buy them!

(Also because they might be two different - but similar - styles. That's happened to me before too. And yes, that was at Wal-Mart.)

Words We Should Change the Definition of: Adorable

Okay, this is what happens when you have too much to do and you do none of it - you think of words to change the definitions of. But whatever. 

So, "adorable". 

What does that mean?

When people say adorable, they usually mean "cute", "sweet", stuff like that.

But to "adore" means to: "regard with the utmost esteem, love, and respect; honor" (Dictionary.com). 

Hmm. Interesting.

To "be adorable" isn't as cutesy as we've made it. 

To "be adorable" is really something everyone should be, not just babies, puppies, and kittens.

Which is unfortunate, because I use adorable a lot. 

But sometimes I do use it in the right context. 

I wonder if people know that . . .