Writing Well is Hard

I'm in a senior seminar this semester. We're all working on either fiction projects or poetry projects.

For those of you who have read my poetry, you've probably gathered that 1) I'm pretty good at free verse, and 2) anything not in free verse is not my cup of tea. 

Now fiction . . . fiction is my cup of tea.

You could say that I've had a bit of experience writing fiction.

I self-published a pretty short book about two years ago, and most of the people who left reviews liked it.

This semester I'm aiming for a full-length novel.

Oh my giddy aunt, y'all.

You have no idea how hard this is.

Keep in mind, this isn't necessarily for enjoyment, though I'm sure I will enjoy it for the most part.

This is for a grade.

And credits.

Mostly the credits.

But get this: there's a prospectus.

We've gotta outline it.

We've got to cover everything from beginning to end, no plot holes.

And we're likely going to get critiqued.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining -- I love critiques of my stories. Love them. It makes for a better, more coherent, more detailed story.

But gosh . . . it's hard.

But hard is good.

First of the Last Days

Oh my . . . that sounded much more bleak and apocalyptic than I meant it to.

What I'm talking about is the first day of classes tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I'm a senior.

It'll be the first day of the last days of my college education.

And while I'm really excited about that, I'm kinda bummed, too.

I feel like I've just hit this point where I'm ready to have a degree and start being a productive member of society, but I feel like I want to do so much more.

I want to go to Europe.

I want to own a salon.

I want to learn fencing.

I want to go to the beaches in Florida.

I want to see snow. (Not in August, obviously, but I do.)

I want to write what I want to write, but I don't know what I want to write.

I guess tomorrow is one step closer to all of that.

Yep, I suppose it is.

Oh my word . . .

Sometimes that's all you can say.

Sometimes that's all you need to say. 

Like when your exhaust pipe falls off twice in one day, once when you're pulling out of the driveway to go to class and once in the Chick-fil-a drive through.

Like when your professor doesn't email the class that your 8 AM slow, painful death Crossfit aerobics class is cancelled and you could have slept in another hour.

Like when you have all these great ideas for stories but can't write them because you've just painted your nails and they aren't dry yet and then you forget them.

Yeah. . . 

Oh my word. . .
Good thing Somebody knows what's going on, right?

Always So Much Else

Oi . . .

There's always so much else to do when you have two papers due tomorrow . . .

Things like house work, work, reading for other classes . . .

And here I am blogging, because, hey - that needs to be done, too. 

So here are some appropriate gifs:

And finally . . . 

You know that feeling?

That feeling when you've accomplished this great and awesome feat?

That feeling when you know the worst is behind you?

That feeling that you look forward to during the hard times?

That feeling that's euphoric?

That feeling when you finish a four page paper on the Odyssey?

Yeah, me too. 

And yes, I am perfectly aware that this is a TON of gifs, but it's nearly 1 AM, and if you'd spent an entire day on this paper, you'd be using all these gifs too. 

An AWESOME New Blog!

So, my friend Jennifer has started a new blog . . . and it is awesome.
Be a love and check it out? I'm sure you'll be blessed by it!

Hi! I'm Jennifer and I blog over at Blessings All Mind With Ten Thousand Beside. I just got started this week, so I'm a beginner at this whole blogger thing. I'm excited though. My blog is going to be about me, my family, our life and the things that God is teaching me. I am also planning to answer some of the questions that teenage girls ask me! You can find out more by visiting the blog and reading the About Me page and the About the Blog page. So head on over and check it out! Or if you have a question you can email me at: betterthatway@gmail.com.

Not Getting Off on the Right Foot, Are We?

So, I downloaded the Consumer's Preview of Microsoft Office 2013.
Yes, I am a PC.
Born and bred.
I know Microsoft has more than its fair share of bugs, but I still like it.
Kinda like how the Carolina Gamecocks have a not-so-awesome record, but us fans still like them.
Anyways, I tried to open Microsoft Word 2013, and here's what I got:

Cue the reaction GIFs:

My evil final writing project . . .

So, for my Development of the English Language class, we got to pick our final writing project from three different options.
I picked something along the lines of "pick a small group that uses non-standard English and write about the differences".
'Kay.
Being the dork/geek/nerd that I am, I picked n00bs. N00bs that speak 1337. 
I asked my professor if that was okay.
He said sure . . . and proceeded to inquire what a n00b and 1337 was.
This paper is going to be so fun . . .

My Inferior Grey Matter

Or "gray" matter, depending on your pronunciation.

Anyhoo, I hate my brain.

I want to sleep:

Then I get an awesome idea:

Then thirty mintues later, I crash:

If I don't write down my idea, I tell myself I'll remember it the next morning:

Yeah, well . . . I usually don't remember.

And then I'm all:

Story of my life.

Things I will (eventually) Re-create . . .

I've decided to make a list of all the things that I will eventually rewrite and gift to the world . . .
. . . for a small fee . . .
(By the way, this list is actually more for my benefit than yours, simply because I may 1. forget, 2. become distracted, and / or any combination of the two. But if you like what you see, shoot me an electronic smoke signal if there's something you really want in the story. Who knows? Might just end up there.)

- Romeo and Juliet
- Beauty and the Beast
- Lady and the Tramp
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
- Sleeping Beauty
- The Little Mermaid
- (a twist on) Peter Pan
and, of course, my personal pet:
- Phantom of the Opera

(Do I have an obsession with Disney? . . . Nope.)

My Valentine's Day . . . Thing

I'm calling this "From Paris, with Love"
(Yes, I have an obsession with 'Romeo and Juliet'. And no, Romeo is not the ultimate guy. That other guy is. And if you want to see the Paris I'm talking about, watch the 1936 version of "Romeo and Juliet". Much less awkward than the newer ones.)

The Capulet Mausoleum.
Near mid-night.

His footsteps were of an unsteady tempo, but they matched the beat that made sore his ribs, that throbbed in his skull. The darkness of the moonless night was compounded by his moist blindness. He fell, tasted blood, spat behind him.
His pain, his frenzy, the blood: they all reminded him he was alive.
He didn't desire to be alive.
He desired Juliet, the innocent, glowing flower he'd danced with at the masquerade.
And Juliet lie dead, just beyond the cold, stone door before him.
He held the torch before him, the flame bouncing wildly, and - as he heaved the door open - it cast unnatural shadows within the crypt.
The flame was reflected by the silk that his bride had been cocooned in.
His fingers numbed and he heard the torch fall.
He collapsed at her side, gathering her into his arms.
"Juliet . . ."
His tears splattered on the girl's face. It looked as if they were her own.
"If I could give my life for thine, I would fain commence the exchange," he whispered, stroking her hair.
He imagined a waking sigh, and buried his face in her chocolate locks, drinking in the scent of lavender and vanilla.
"I know I had not your love. I know the young Montague has stolen your heart."
He forced down the bile that choked him, his face stinging with passion.
"But . . . if your heart desired him . . . I would . . . gladly . . . yielded."
A small void cooled his cheek. His numb hand registered movement within her, and he watched - stupefied - as Juliet's eyelids opened, revealing crystalline azure eyes.

. . . TO BE CONTINUED.

RIP Bucky . . . the Furry Mūs

So today in fiction class, Zack had us write three into sentences to this plot:

"A girl about 11-12 years old finds an injured squirrel and cares for it for a year, until her parents decide it's too dangerous to be kept in the house. They make her get rid of it. She takes it to the park where she often took it to play. She watched it scamper off, but left before it came back."

Oh. My. Gosh.
I says, "That's sad; I don't wanna write about that." But - as this epic author often states - "I said it in my head, so nobody heard it but me". I wrote the three he asked for and then - y'all are gonna hate me  for this - but I um, well . . . I sort of killed it. I implied it was probably dead. Squashed. In the road. Uh, yeah.

However!
In "Development of the English Language", we read words in Old English.
Now THAT was fun!
And no, Old English is not Shakespeare. He may be difficult for you to understand, but he actually wrote in Modern English. Modern as in "what we speak now". Yep.

THIS is Old English.

And that is "Beowulf". Epic. Story. You must read it before you die. You must.
(For those who are unaware.)
[Also, mūs up there is Old English for um, well, mouse. It's pretty neat, actually.]

I *really* want to write a post for Sparklife . . .

(For those of you who aren't aware of Sparklife, it's simply a branch of Sparknotes. [If you're not aware of Sparknotes, I pity you.])
Let's get this out of the way first:
- Yes, I am an English major.
- Yes, we read old books. (They smell the best; duh.)
- And, yes, I do occasionally use Sparknotes.
Not as a replacement to the books.
Never.
That is not a good idea.
More as a "this-is-what-I-think-I-read->reads-Sparknotes<-okay-yes-this-is-what-I-read" type thing.
It's quite helpful, except for when Ben Jonson's "Bartholomew Fair" isn't there . . .
Anyways.
I really, really, really want to write a post for Sparklife.
Their posts are quite hilarious.
I can be quite hilarious too.
And I love to write.
I'm thinking about doing a "How to Decode Your Professor" type thing.
What do you think?
Comment below!

Essay Entitled "Cheese"

Author's Note: the following is not intended to be taken literally, seriously, etc. Any of those who take this literally, seriously, etc. will deserve any embarrassment that follows from taking this post literally, seriously, etc.

Cheese. 
Cheese - which, by all counts originated on the Moon - comes in five common variations: stinky, slimy, melty, tasty, and rubbish. These variations often intersect in curious ways; for example, tofu. Not only is tofu stinky, slimy (if expired which is nearly impossible as will be stated below), and rubbish, it also falls under a sixth rather common category: it's old. Not aged. Old. No offense to you tofu eaters out there, but I prefer not to eat something with a shelf life of 3,718 years, 23 days, and 46 minutes. Nope.
The usefulness of cheese is also much debated in our day. In a study conducted by Pratt and Tooley, the most common (historical) use of cheese was not for culinary purposes. It was for mousetraps. If one were to intensely research the agricultural history of Ancient Egypt, one would find (two or more would find the same, just quicker) that mouse / rat infestations were prevalent. 
"They did have cats, you know," you say. This is true and false; allow me to explain. They had felines, but the social role of the cat was drastically different than it is today.
> LEGIT FACTOID WARNING! <
The goddess Bastet was thought to take the form of a cat. As such, it was illegal to kill a cat (presumably for two reasons: 1) you couldn't know if Bastet was the cat you're killing and 2) Bastet clearly liked cats. Either way it probably wasn't a good idea to get Bastet angry because 1) she's female, 2) she's a goddess, and 3) she controls cats. Nuff said.)
> END OF FACTOID. <
In light of this, the Ancient Egyptians decided to invent a mouse-catching machine so that the cats could do whatever cats do when they're not catching mice . . . Sleep, I guess. Hence the most popular use of cheese was born!


Thanks to Caroline for the suggestion of this topic, "cheese". You can read her blog here.

HMESHB - Part I

How My Essay Should Have Been
Part I
Response to "Common Sense"

I'll spare you the somewhat boring details of what I really wrote, but here's what it almost said:

"Thomas Paine's Common Sense inspired Thomas Jefferson to pen the Declaration of Independence, which would later be stolen by Ben F. Gates with the assistance of Riley Poole and Dr. Abigail Chase, to thwart the efforts of Ian Howe."

Dear me . . .
But part of me wonders what would have happened had I actually turned it in like that . . . My professor has a wicked sense of humor; she probably would have loved it!
. . . Or failed me on it.
But still . . .

Essay Entitled "Cake"

Author's Note: the following is not intended to be taken literally, seriously, etc. Any of those who take this literally, seriously, etc. will deserve any embarrassment that follows from taking this post literally, seriously, etc.

Cake.

Fascinating subject, isn't it? So many varieties, shapes, and colors that have no bearing on the flavor whatsoever so when you think you're taking a giant piece of White cake it's really Coconut cake you've got on that shiny red Chinet plate you're carrying to the table that you're going to run away from in desperate search of the bathroom when you realize your fatal error!
(No offense intended to y'all out there that like Coconut, but everyone who doesn't like it totally understands.)
Cake was invented in the Year 1, when Adam and Eve celebrated their first anniversary.
Well, it was also the first anniversary ever, so I hope the cake was nice.
But, according to recent research done by Tu Retts Inc., the cake is a lie.
Yup.
That prettiful thing your momma made on all of your birthdays, even after you moved out?
LIES.
Not that mothers would lie. They've been taken in, too.
Why is it a lie?
That . . . has yet to be determined, but most likely the research methods will be able to facilitate the appropriate experiments roughly around the same time Halo makes it to the Silver Screen. So, um, yeah, don't hold your breath.

(By the way, Caroline came up with the word "prettiful"; you can read her blog here.)

Book Preview! Part III

Aaaaaaaaaaand the third one!


This is from "Ruminations", slightly inspired by the track of the same name from . . . um, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Uh, yeah . . . You can listen to it here . . . to make it less . . . erm . . . awkward.

As a young nun, Marya had been pious as a saint, quiet to a fault, and earnest in her duties. But then, during a mission of charity, she fell. Hers was not the sudden, obliterating demise made popular by cheap novellas. Her fall was an unbroken – though, at times, hesitant – descent from her once lofty standards.

A young parson, not even a year her senior, had been assisting the physicians with orphans who had contracted serious infections. His gentle kindness to the children others deemed worthless endeared him to her immediately. They did the Lord’s work side by side, sharing His peace and mercy with those suffering. He lauded and encouraged Marya from time to time, but she – raised with nigh a man in sight – found herself unable – or unwilling? – to reciprocate. 

Here's the link!

Book Preview! Part II

Time for the second sample!


This one is from "Infiltration", kind of a sci-fi thing. I definitely had the most fun writing this one.

Harpé felt herself separate from the transport chip. It was exhilarating. She was free to roam, free to explore. Binary information began to bombard her the moment of severance, and she absorbed it instantly, reveling as her knowledge expanded. The stream of raw information slowed and she began to sort and process it while appropriating controls to the systems Dante had outlined before the mission commenced.

            Security and surveillance systems: bugged – affirmative.

Motion and thermal sensors: bugged – affirmative.

            Life support: affirmative.

Chemical balance control systems: affirmative.

Temperature controls.

Harpé paused. That wasn’t on the list, but she knew Dante didn’t like to leave a job smelling sweaty, so she grudgingly appropriated it.

Temperature controls: unnecessary . . . but affirmative.

Harpé allowed herself a mental chuckle, but sobered quickly. This is too – 

Here's the link!

Book Preview! Part I

So I've decided to post three different excerpts of my book, "The Trio: A Collection of Completely Unrelated Short Stories". (I'm all for honesty; can you tell?)


As the title states, there's only three stories in the book. It was sort of a tester-type thing-y.


Here's a (selected) excerpt from the first one, "Wasted, Redeemed". It's pretty much the plot summary; a friend who read this asked if I found a poem, cut it up and wrote around it! (I didn't, by the way. =])

An hour – wasted.

A mind – wasted.

A soul – wasted.

A lifetime – wasted.

A love – wasted.

A life – redeemed.  

(I know this is a very short sample, but it's because it's a very short story.)

Here's the link!

Surviving at Night

>Insert dark, creepy, horror music here.<

No, seriously.

Given the fact that night-time is basically 0.5 of a typical Earth day, and the second fact that humans like me live on Earth, surviving at night is very serious business.

I - for one - have major issues with surviving at night. These issues include, but are not limited to:

1) Shadows

2) Sudden bursts of creativity and / or genius that temporarily stunt the sleep process

3) Shadows

4) Boredom

5) Shadows

6) Stress about upcoming tests, exams, etc. 

7) Shadows.

I'm sure you've gathered by now that the shadows are out to get me, I swear. 

So, I have done something that I encourage all of you to do: make a list of things that you need close by every night such that the imperative sleep process is not impeded. 

Here's mine. It's quite simple, really.

Things I must have to survive at night: 

1) My sister in the room

Why?

ANTI-BOREDOM! She talks in her sleep. Very entertaining. And besides, if she's there, there's a 50/50 chance the shadows will get her instead, and that's something they'll never think of doing twice. She's one tough, but sweet, cookie.

2) A notepad 

Why?

To go along with #3!

3) A small reading light and / or glow in the dark pens 

Why?

Because these things allow my eyes to see item #2!

So, yes, this is what I need to survive at night, which, as I stated earlier, is pretty darn nifty in the grand scheme of things.

. . . No lie. 

(By the way, just before I published this, one of my friends told me quote: "I actually sleep at night." Hm. Fascinating concept. Oh, yes, you can see her creative genius here.)