Being 21

Remember when you were a kid and you thought Sweet 16 was so far away? I mean, heck, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, and Snow White were married at 16!

And then you turned 16 and you realized that you didn't know anything and what the heck were those girls thinking, getting married at 16?!

You just got your driver's licence!

You thought 18 was the thing. You could tackle anything when you were 18.

Until you turned 18.
Then you realized you totally do not have a handle on much at all.
The next milestone is 21.
21.
Where you can literally - and legally - do anything you want.
Within reason, obviously.
Well, let me tell you, Girls-younger-than-21, 21 is not what it's cracked up to be.
Yeah, you can basically do whatever you want . . . but with that said, there's a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.
I know a lot of gals my age - including myself - that would just love nothing more than to curl up with a tub of ice cream or and popcorn and watch Disney Princess movies all day.
And maybe a little a lot of Doctor Who.
But we can't.
We've got college.
We've got jobs.
We've got bills to pay, assignments due, and people counting on us to get things done.
That's not to say that we don't have moments of calm or just time to have fun and relax, but those moments don't come often.
Girls-younger-than-21, treasure your moments of freedom.
You might be bored, but another word for boredom is free.
And treasure the innocence.
And the simplicity.
Enjoy it while you can.
It's not going to last.

Senioritis

This is a Public Service Announcement.

Many college students suffer from senioritis.

This debilitating illness has many symptoms, but the most common are fidgeting in class, daydreaming while having purposed to finish homework, boredom, and itchy, watery eyes that mimic the symptoms of spring fever. 

Senioritis doesn't only affect those in their fourth year of college: it can affect those as fresh and new as those in their first year.

But this doesn't have to be your reality.

To counteract the symptoms, pop in a classic Disney movie. 

Take them bowling.

Feed them.

Offer any and all distractions.

They'll know instinctively when it is time to return to the grind.

Senioritis is real.

Don't let it be you. 

Youtube Crushes

Okay, these are not legitimate crushes, but oh lawd they is funny.

Ever heard of DJ Flula?

Well, you should watch some of his stuff, because it's hilarious.

He's this German DJ who - when he comes into contact with weird English idioms that he doesn't understand - he gives it his best shot. 

For instance, there's the Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Happy as a Clam.

Skeletons in the Closet.

Proof is in the Pudding.

Trick or Treat, Smell my Feet.

And my personal favorite: the Party Pooper.

(A friend made me watch that in the middle of the university library -- my other friend working at the checkout desk thought I was having a stroke. It's really hard not to laugh, y'all.)

His broken English is adorable and hysterical, and the 'outside opinion' is priceless.

And Olan Rogers.

If you have not heard of him, I pity you.

A friend of mine posts a picture of him every Monday, and when you watch this, you'll see why.

His facial expressions and snarkiness are to die for.

He also talks about the time he took his lady out -- that's pretty awesome, too.

But yeah.

Those are my Youtube crushes.

Confessions: I've Actually Never Had Coffee.

I'm starting a new series, Confessions.

I figured I might as well start with the most shocking.

So yeah, I've never actually had coffee before.

And these are some of the looks I get when I say that:

Actually, that's probably all the reactions I've gotten.

Yeah. . .

I just . . . never really wanted to have coffee.

I love the smell of coffee beans, but not when it's actually brewed.

And I don't need it in the mornings, because once I'm up, I'm up.

So you wake me up at 3 AM and you had better have something really cool for me to do or I will hate intensely dislike you for a very long time, probably proportional to how many hours of sleep you robbed me of.

Anyhoo, yeah, I've never had coffee.

And I don't plan to, either.

And the reason why is because when I was a kid, I had to read this book, Across Five Aprils. 

It's about the Civil War, but there's only one part I really remember: the kid's mom loved coffee, but for one reason or another, they couldn't buy it, and she went through this awful withdraw and could not function, and I remember thinking I never wanted to be that dependent on something that I wouldn't be able to function if I couldn't have it.

Which rules out a lot of things for me.

Oh well.

And I remember a lot of my friends saying they never drank coffee till they got to college, but I'm almost a senior, and I still haven't had a drop.

I mean, I suppose it's kind of like tea: I just haven't found a flavor I might like.

Whatevs.

What coffee confessions do you have?

Pointless Fun

This post is pointless. 

Seriously.

I'm just going to tell you something I did that was really fun:

I JUMPED UP ON AN ELEVATOR GOING DOWN.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomigosh it was so fun!!!

It's really weird because if you wait right before it starts to drop and then you jump, you feel kinda like a superhero, or a Jedi, or somebody from Inception or something for a split second.

It's really cool.

You ought to try it.

But I would suggest not doing it with a 25+ pound backpack. 

Just sayin'. 

And yes, I am a responsible 20 year old adult.

(Failed?) Attempts at Philosophy: Exile

I don't know how I got to thinking about this, but exile is a pretty stupid idea, isn't it?
Say somebody murders (not kills like in self-defense, but actually murders) somebody else.
Pick your method: poisoning, shooting, stabbing, strangulation, what have you -- the victim's dead either way.
So, the government is essentially saying this:

We should kill you because you killed someone else, but we're not going to kill you.
We're going to kick you out of our country, so now you're somebody else's problem.
But if you ever come back, we're going to kill you.

. . . Um . . . isn't that what you should have done in the first place?
Anyhoo . . . I guess this is what happens when you watch and listen to a lot of political stuff and have no school work to preoccupy your brain . . .

On Being Home Alone

After a decade of being left at home for several hours at a time with no supervision save my own, I have discovered that the imagination begins to populate said enclosure of living with monsters, murderers, and other unpleasantries. This increases exponentially after the sun has set.
Here, I give some illustrations of the average human's ability to cope with / exist in denial of said horrors.

Being home alone during the day:

 

Being home alone at night:

STORY.

OF.

MY.

LIFE.