I'm starting a new series, Confessions.
I figured I might as well start with the most shocking.
So yeah, I've never actually had coffee before.
And these are some of the looks I get when I say that:
Actually, that's probably all the reactions I've gotten.
Yeah. . .
I just . . . never really wanted to have coffee.
I love the smell of coffee beans, but not when it's actually brewed.
And I don't need it in the mornings, because once I'm up, I'm up.
So you wake me up at 3 AM and you had better have something really cool for me to do or I will
hate intensely dislike you for a very long time, probably proportional to how many hours of sleep you robbed me of.
Anyhoo, yeah, I've never had coffee.
And I don't plan to, either.
And the reason why is because when I was a kid, I had to read this book, Across Five Aprils.
It's about the Civil War, but there's only one part I really remember: the kid's mom loved coffee, but for one reason or another, they couldn't buy it, and she went through this awful withdraw and could not function, and I remember thinking I never wanted to be that dependent on something that I wouldn't be able to function if I couldn't have it.
Which rules out a lot of things for me.
And I remember a lot of my friends saying they never drank coffee till they got to college, but I'm almost a senior, and I still haven't had a drop.
I mean, I suppose it's kind of like tea: I just haven't found a flavor I might like.
What coffee confessions do you have?