Showing posts with label bugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bugs. Show all posts

Friday, May 17

It's Official: I'm a Bug Murderer

So, I've got a story for y'all.
But first, the back story.
So, I'm a really heavy sleeper.
I've slept through alarms going off, trees falling down in our yard, stuff like that.
However, it takes me a really long time to actually fall asleep.
If I listen to soundtracks of thunderstorms and rivers and stuff, that usually knocks me out, but I either need to be sick and exhausted or listening to something like that to fall asleep.
Well.
Last night, there was this bug - my first guess was a cricket - making a constant, high-pitched droning noise outside my window last night, and it was driving me crazy.
It sounded like it was right there, so I opened my door and slammed it shut really hard.
The noise stopped for a while but then started again.
So I slammed my window shut again, and it stopped and started again, so I figured it was right there.
I really didn't want to get up, but I did, and went out in the living room to see if my dad was still up. He wasn't, but my brother was. He asked what I was doing and I told him about the cricket. He just stared at me and said, "So your plan is . . . what?"
And I says, "To kill it."
So I got a broom and a flashlight, went outside, and sure enough, there it was, about two feet from my window.
I went ahead and killed it mercilessly and went back inside.
My dad was still awake and asked if I had been the one outside with the flashlight. I said yeah, and he asked what I was doing.
I told him, and he laughed at me.
Ha.
Well, at least I was able to sleep.

Monday, April 15

An Unexpected Passenger

So I was driving the other day and---
What?
NO! 
I wasn't carjacked!
No, but I did have an unexpected passenger.
I was driving along - and thank God I was at a stop sign because that could very well have caused an accident - I saw something out of the corner of my eye.
I thought it was somebody on the sidewalk, so I just turned to look and-----
I'll take the opportunity to say this: ever see a spider on your windshield and you have to turn on your windshield wipers to see if it's on the outside or the inside?
Well, this beauty wasn't on the windshield, it was on my window, and it wasn't a tiny spider, either.
It was this huge roach.
I screamed and probably made one of those movie-scream faces.
Probably looked a lot like this:
But I dunno; I couldn't see me.
The person pulling onto the road I was on could.
Needless to say, I got that roach out of there.
And the person let me out, because they probably thought I was cray cray.
Which I'm totally not.
Just sayin'.