On Medical Conditions. . .

No, I haven't changed my mind and become a nursing major.

I'm still an English major.

Yet this is a unique merging of the two realms.

I don't know if any nurses or doctors have actually seen this, but I have, and it's terrifying enough to me.

And yes, this is sort of a grammar rant.

Alzheimer's Disease

I cannot count how many times I've heard this butchered. I know I have very little to stand on, because I butcher words all the time, but I can say that I've never said this particular word this badly. 

Y'all, it is not "All-timers" Disease.

There is not a T in "Alzheimer's".

There just isn't.

Stop putting it there.

Please.

Diabetes

Okay, I saw this on Tumblr, so there's no telling whether the poster was serious or just being funny, but "diabetes" is one word.

Just one.

It's not "die of beaties".

I realize it kind of sounds like that, but it's all together.

Lactose Intolerance

This one really takes the cake.

I'm not even really sure where that phrase comes from, but it's true.

I have seen this on Google searches.

On Facebook.

On Tumblr.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Granted, on Tumblr they all flipped out, but still.

People, this particular disorder where your body does not properly manufacture lactase and milk makes you gassy and nauseous is not "lack toast and tolerant".

I kid you not.

A "lack toast and tolerant" disorder means that you lack charred bread slices and are a very understanding person and for some reason you are not happy about this state of affairs.

But yeah.

This has been a PSA.

How my Mother Saved my Life

Yes, this is a true story.

I will say first off that unused appliances scare me. And by "unused", I mean unused by me. And if you're still not sure what I'm talking about, check out this guest post I did not too long ago; it explains everything.

Allow me to set the stage: I've been house sitting for the past two or three weeks - a weekish at one house, two days between and now at another house. 

The first house had a lovely kitchen with a stove very much like the one I use at home.

Easy to cook on?

The second house has a lovely kitchen . . . with a gas stove . . .

Um. . .

Easy to cook on?

Which means I didn't have a clue how to use it.

I'd turn the knob, and it'd click repeatedly, and all I could think of was the house blowing up, so I'd turn it off in a hurry.

I actually ended up cooking a frozen meal in the microwave (which I never do) because I had no clue how to use the oven.

Now, how my lovely mother factors into this.

We were chatting on Facebook, and she asked what I was planning on having for dinner.

I said I didn't know.

Somehow, the stove situation came up, and she's like "Oh, those are easy".

She coached me step-by-step through how to use it.

And it worked.

God bless the mothers who make sure their "independent" children are able to cook for themselves.

Grammar Rant

Okay, I know I have peeves.
I'm sorry.
Eh . . .
Nope. No, no I'm not.
As an English major, I suppose I'm entitled to be snobby about this, but I really, honestly try very hard not to be a grammar snob.
And most times, I'm not.
I'm a grammar nazi.
It's horrible, I know, as even I use deplorable grammar at times.
I'm actually really picky about exactly what gets me peeved.
For instance, if I'm texting or IMimg, I couldn't care less if you didn't capitalize, use correct grammar or what have you.
But in an email . . . you had better use it all correctly.
In spoken conversations, I don't care.
But Facebook . . .
Oh gosh, don't get me started . . .
Okay, so "your" and "you're" ARE different!! I promise! They are!
"Too", "to", and "two" are different. Really.
And when you're talking about more than one of something . . . there's no apostrophe.
Like, if you're talking about . . . say . . . Scottish Folds . . . It's "Scottish Folds" - not "Scottish Fold's".
*sigh*
Orrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . .
Or, I could just leave Facebook as its own thing and not worry about it.
Nope.
Too easy . . .